I dare to do what I feel embarrassed ← I can't
I'm also a tofu mental person who is shy and can't help, but a common way for weak mental people to train their mentality is to "dare to feel embarrassed."
For example
- Sing loudly in the city
- While looking at the clock on your smartphone, ask people in the city, "What time is it now?"
- Walk in a city with a lot of people in cosplay
- Naked in the park and shout "Singo!"
There are some things like that, but this is a fairly high hurdle, and it cannot be done. The fourth one is a crime, let's stop.
If you lower the hurdle a little more
- Ask people the way to Brazil in the city
- Enter the store, talk with the clerk about buying, and leave without buying anything
There are things like doing something strange, but this is also quite impossible for people with weak mentality.
When I think about what is embarrassing, it seems that the symptom of "shyness" that people are not good at seeing and talking with people seems to be a factor, but when I think about it in detail, Todo's clogging is "from others". Isn't it because I care about "evaluation of"?
Everybody is evaluated and evaluated
I think that every human being has a desire for approval that "I want people to think well, I don't want to be disliked", but positive people want high evaluation "I want to feel good", and negative people want it. It may be connected to the behavior of wanting to avoid the low evaluation that "I do not want to be disliked / I am afraid of being seen badly" .
However, "evaluation" is always attached to both getting a job and posting on SNS, though I don't need it.
I don't want to be evaluated, but I find myself "evaluating" other people, the companies I work with, and the restaurants I eat, even if I don't intend to do so.
・ Avoid socializing with people who are not good at it
・ Select companies to apply for by part-time job or employment
・ Decide not to come because the restaurant is not delicious ・
Such "evaluation" is the judgment of your own decision I think it is an element that serves as a standard and forms communication and lifestyle.
However, on many review sites such as tabelog and SNS, I feel that I just care about evaluations and think that others' evaluations are like my own.
I feel like I'm overwhelmed when the evaluation is good, and when the evaluation is bad, it seems that the evaluation is already being evaluated.
Each person has different values, so even if you refer to the evaluation of others, you shouldn't get caught up in it, you have to look at the essence of things! Nowadays I think that.
That is why if you can acquire mental skills that do not care about "evaluation",I thought that I could lead a richer life, so I started "youtuber".
Well, it's a self-proclaimed youtuber, and it's not like making a living from it. There are about 30 subscribers ...
I want to express myself on youtube and acquire mental skills that do not care about "evaluation"
I've been posting videos on youtube for a long time, but I didn't appear on them.
For example, a video of a cat, a shot of flower rock, or just the sound source of your own music.
I also uploaded a video of playing the guitar, but the appearance was NG.
Because it's easy to imagine that on the day you appear and someone sees you and the bad button is pressed, you'll fall asleep mentally.
However, as mentioned above, from the idea of "I want to acquire mental skills that do not care about" evaluation "", I decided to put myself out on youtube and try what happens to my mentality.
By the way, I used to play a guitar and sing in front of people when I was in a band, so it seems that people get angry at me saying, "What is tofu mental?", But that's not the case.
When I was a high school student, I had the opportunity to speak in front of all the students, but I couldn't speak at all (I have to say something!) I was a little overwhelmed by all the students, and I felt very happy about it, and I was addicted to doing something on stage = band activities.
It's a common space in a live house to stand on the stage and play music, and on the contrary, it's more embarrassing to just be seen by people without doing anything on the stage, and it's likely to die.
That's why I don't want to be a street musician, and I really hate being noticed by people outside the stage.
It may not be very convincing, but it's no good after I was in a band before I suffered from depression and after I was mentally tattered by depression.
(When I was in a band, I didn't have the internet, so I didn't get a low rating.)
I don't care about the memories, and the only way to overcome my weaknesses is to challenge my weaknesses!
So , first of all, I decided to upload the guitar performance video with "appearance".
The first hurdle "Appearance video appearance"
For the time being, I shot a guitar performance video on my iPhone so that my face could be seen.
Looking at my video objectively, it's super embarrassing. Am I like this? It ’s a stoop! Embarrassed! It will be.
The younger generation may be accustomed to being photographed with a video camera or seeing themselves from the time they were born, but since we, the old generation, had only such a rich house, we were moving. It is a hellish work for people with low self-esteem and self-affirmation.
I didn't have the courage to upload the face-up video I shot, so I searched for a way to upload the face-up video with a strong feeling.
So I thought, "I see, that's right!"
[No one sees your video]
The word.
If you upload it to youtube, it will be played 1 million times and become a celebrity! I'm in trouble! It tends to inflate selfish grandiose delusions,
[No one sees your video]
You are right.
On what basis did you think your face-up video would buzz? Who is interested! I will rebuke myself.
Thanks to this word, it is the first hurdle clear.
I uploaded a video of playing the guitar with my face.
Mental level up a little! Hooray!
The second hurdle "go get a high evaluation"
That's why the appearance performance video continued to be uploaded a little bit.
However, I'm super annoyed, so it takes a long time to shoot a video, and it's annoying to edit, so no one watches it anyway, so I uploaded the video I took to youtube without editing.
At the beginning, I was struck by the desire to make a perfect performance and "want to be highly evaluated", but even if I upload a lot of videos over and over, the number of views does not increase at all = no one is interested, so the accuracy of the performance is also I didn't care about it, and even if I made a mistake, I started uploading it.
In a sense, this may also mean that mental skills that do not care about the eyes of others have grown.
Well, of course, the number of views does not increase and there is no evaluation, but that does not strengthen the mentality!
So, let's do something a little elaborate and dare to make a video aiming for high evaluation.
That's
why I made this video Nagori Yuki
Senbonzakura
Create a sound source with DAW and sing and play by yourself.
With the rock star-like wig and sunglasses I bought for Halloween costumes.
As you can see, it's a lot of fun.
It's quite painful for me to be evaluated for doing it seriously, so on the contrary, I playfully try to deceive it, but I think that's fine.
I'm happy if it's highly rated, but even if it's rated low, I've prepared an escape route for my mentality, saying, "Because it's such a playful video." Otherwise, very very.
Received high praise and increased happiness
However, is this video surprisingly popular? Well, the number of views and the number of evaluations are known, but I got a message from the person who watched the video!
A message like that.
Somehow, it's very heavy ... but if such a video could help someone else's heart, it was worth it.
I always have the motto "Do something for someone", but I'm very happy to be able to do something for someone with this video. It was.
The number of views has increased so much that it is highly rated! That's not to say, but I'm very happy that I went to get a high evaluation and received a high evaluation in a direct message in an unexpected way.
It was an event that I could recognize because the high evaluation was not a number.
I got a low evaluation and my mental illness
I've gradually become accustomed to posting youtube videos technically and mentally, and recently I've been uploading performance videos with rock arrangements of enka.
I like the sunglasses I used in cosplay, so I started to appear in videos wearing sunglasses all the time.
Is it possible to say that you are wearing sunglasses? On the contrary, aren't sunglasses more embarrassing? There is also a self-questioning answer, but it's okay to be fine.
Make thumbnails properly, tag them so that they can be seen as much as possible, and fill in the summary column.
Well, it's on track.
Such a video that I sent with full confidence was given a low rating! Immediately after publishing!
Only one low evaluation, that alone made my mental depression suddenly and I fell asleep.
If you look at it from the outside, it's a story that "don't worry about that", but when I realized that "Oh, I'm a tofu mental", I felt embarrassed when I put up the video in good condition. Tofu.
It ’s the beginning of the trials of life.
[No one sees your video]
No, I'm watching ...
I think now that I'm an anponta who thinks too much because I'm trapped in such a grand belief.
I was lethargic for a few days, but I managed to recover and asked google Dai-sensei what to do if I got a low rating.
Find a way to avoid low ratings
Well, even if it wasn't highly rated, I was confident that the video wasn't terrible enough to be rated low.
Even so, I was underestimated and was trapped in negative emotions and my mental illness, but here I thought about why my mental illness was ill.
Why did the person who gave the low rating press the low rating button?
・ Because I didn't like it?
→ If that's the only reason, don't you bother to evaluate it?
・ Is it because the video was not related to search?
→ It doesn't go through, is it normal?
·harassment?
→ Why do you do that?
I can only come up with my own thoughts, such as, I'm mentally weak, and I can't think objectively.
Let's change our mindset.
Make "what happens if you get a low evaluation" and "how to deal with it" as positive as possible.
- First of all, it doesn't kill you, increase your debt, or end your life because it doesn't bring misfortune.
- The video is not deleted, so you can leave it as it is
- There's no real harm if you're hated by people who rate it low
- Do you think it's a low-rated video? → Can the number of evaluations be hidden in the settings?
- There is also a high evaluation, so it's okay with Chara
When I tried to think like "Is it a low rating?", I managed to withstand it.
And if you look at the evaluation column every day and keep asking yourself the same question, changes will occur.
The low evaluation itself is taken as a fact, but what is it?
In the episode that received high evaluation, "I recognized that high evaluation is not a number", but it may be said that it is also low evaluation.
What is the quality of a low rating of only one? The person who pushed the low rating can not push it with the feeling that "the author of this video hates and will kill you", and probably has no intention. .. There may be some malicious intent, but if you are serious, you will attack directly with a message or something or get a bad reputation, and if it is not so much, it will be a little mischief or misunderstanding. There is a possibility.
With that feeling, I think I've become a Buddha-like feeling of "forgiving the other person."
From "I don't want to be disliked / I 'm afraid to be seen badly"
to
" I want to avoid being disliked, disliked, well-liked, badly seen, I change myself I haven't
come up with the idea that there is no such thing, but I've come to think that it's okay.
In other words, it's possible to have a low rating, and once you get used to it, there's nothing wrong with it.
I plan to go get a low rating
Considering that there is a way to become stronger in low evaluation, I think that the original negative thinking will work, or I will
dare
to challenge to make a video aiming for low evaluation .
I am also aiming for a low evaluation, so even if I actually get a low evaluation, it seems to be what I was aiming for, and I would be happy if a surprisingly high evaluation was given.
In other words, I think it's a method with very little mental damage.
I haven't tried it yet, so I don't know what will happen to my mentality, but isn't my mental strength now that I'm trying to do this? It depends on what you think.
In summary
Everyone evaluates and evaluates, but negative people care too much about evaluation.
To acquire mental skills that do not care about evaluation, get used to being evaluated and do not get caught up in that evaluation.
If I can do it without worrying about the evaluation, I feel that I can take a step forward.
I wondered if the important thing was not the values of others but my own.