Shy people have thought about things like "I want to change my introverted self!" And "I want to be a diplomatic person who doesn't know anyone!" My life doesn't go well because of my introverted personality! Even if it doesn't happen, I sometimes think, "If I didn't have a shy personality, my life would have been different."
There was an experiment to change that introverted personality into a diplomatic personality.
In a 2018 experiment at Southern Methodist University, 377 students were gathered for 15 weeks to investigate what kind of results the experimenter had by having subjects perform various behaviors. , It means that almost all students have changed their personality in the desired direction.
Based on the results of the experiment, I will introduce 10 habits that can make you diplomatic, so you don't have to do all of them, so even if you keep 3-4 each, if you continue every day, it will be diplomatic in about 3 months. It will change to your personality.
10 actions that make shy people diplomatic
1. Remember the most sociable behavior of the day before going to bed
You can say "I had a conversation with a company person today" or "I went shopping with my family", but "I talked to a convenience store clerk" or "I gave directions to strangers". I think it's good to take positive action with people you don't usually interact with.
If you remember, what part of that behavior do you like? I think that.
By thinking about what kind of emotions you have when you take a sociable action, it may be effective to impress that action on your brain and to instill the impression that you also have a diplomatic part! Is it not?
2. Talk to the clerk of the store you always go to or go to the first store
You can just say hello to the clerk at the convenience store you usually go to, or you can have a light chat. However, such positive behavior is difficult for introverts, isn't it? The goal is to talk about the relationship, so why not start by paying at the cash register, receiving the product, and finally saying "Thank you"?
Or, try entering a store that you've never been to, although it's always on the road. I don't think it will be very effective at convenience stores. It could be a coffee shop, a bar, or a small grocery store. If you can get along with the shopkeeper there, you will feel that you are making progress!
3. Make a list of answers to frequently asked questions
Frequently asked questions are such as "What is your favorite XX?", "What is your favorite entertainer?", "What are you doing on your days off?", Or a TV dialogue program. I think it's good.
Not only can you answer when you receive a question, but it can also be a source of questions here, and it makes conversation easier. Also, thinking will be a simulation of conversation, so it will be easier to lead to diplomatic behavior.
4. Say hello to people you meet for the first time and have a light chat
If you make a response list, I definitely want to put it into practice.
If you meet a customer for the first time at work, I think you can make a standard greeting in a business setting. Introverts may really exchange business cards and say hello according to the manual, but looking at the title of the other party's business card, "What kind of work is the title of XX?", The address of the company If you can find a clue to a little conversation such as "Where is the nearest station to XX?" And connect it to a chat, I think you can get closer to your diplomatic personality.
If you can greet or chat well with people you meet for the first time, it's a good idea to remember them before going to bed and remember your feelings at that time. I don't think I feel bad, so I want to make good memories and fall asleep in a good mood.
5. Get in touch with a friend you haven't seen in a while
It's called "reconnecting," and it's the act of reconnecting with someone you once had a good relationship with.
People who haven't been in contact for several years are quite embarrassed and difficult to contact, but on the contrary, it's nice to think about the case where the other person contacts you. Let's do it. I don't think it feels bad at all.
The other person is the same, so you can get in touch with them. Doing so may lead to unexpected connections, new communication, and increased diplomatic behavior.
Diplomatic people seem to be good at this reconnecting, and I have been suddenly contacted by friends and acquaintances who were estranged in the past, but they are all super diplomatic and friendly personalities.
6. Make a list of things to ask people you meet for the first time
When you talk to someone you meet for the first time, there are many fixed questions.
"What are your hobbies?" "Where are you from?" "What is your university?" From "What is your favorite foreign city?" "What is your favorite type of the opposite sex?" "What are your goals in life?" The act of writing on a piece of paper what kind of response you would like to ask, what you would like to hear when you get to know each other, and the reason. If you increase the success experience of having conversations with people you meet for the first time, you will feel that you are progressing to a diplomatic personality.
7. Volunteer
Although it is a service activity or unpaid activity, participating in volunteer activities will increase the chances of conversation with people who meet for the first time, and since it will not be a business relationship, I think that you can talk flatly and friendly.
Also, since I work with the same aspirations, it will be easier for me to understand, and I think there are many opportunities to take diplomatic actions.
8. Invite to sports
Team sports with two or more people are better than sports that are played alone.
Is it okay because four people play futsal, mini basketball, and golf? As well as practicing, communication with the other team will be created when it comes to games, so opportunities for diplomatic action will increase.
The purpose of the action may have the same meaning as "7. Volunteer participation". If you say "volunteer is a little ...", why don't you join sports, and if you say "I'm not good at sports ...", why don't you join volunteer?
9. Practice answering questions honestly (to tell the truth)
It seems that many introverts tend to take advantage of what people think, and it seems that they often respond in front of the building without being able to say their true intentions.
When I go to lunch, when I'm asked "Is there anything I want to eat?" (I want to eat eel, but I hate it because it's expensive ...), I say "anything is fine".
There aren't many people who respond honestly without sontaku and get stuffy, and I try not to go out with someone who gets stuffy. If you take care of it strangely, it will be mentally difficult.
Aside from that, I think that if you accumulate the experience of "I don't mind if you really want to," you can shift to a diplomatic personality.
10. Talk about the problem you are having
It's a final stage action, but if you've tried actions 1-9 for a few weeks and you've become a substitute, you can talk about your problems and talk to them. Right. I think this is a high hurdle. Even if you're not a family member or a close friend, if you can do this, it's quite diplomatic.
Summary
So far, I have introduced 10 of them, but I think it is quite difficult to continue these. In order to put it into practice, I think it's best to get into the habit of writing it on a notebook or paper and looking back every day.
I write it in "Notes for taking notes if I have any concerns", so I try to look back every time I take notes.
It may be difficult for a shy person to get into the habit because it's already difficult, but if you really want to change your personality, maybe you can do your best?
If you want to know more details, you can find out more in the following video by becoming a member of Niconico Channel "Psychoanalysis of Mentalist DaiGo".
Reference: Psychoanalysis of mentalist DaiGo
https://www.nicovideo.jp/watch/so34600114