Are you desperate for life?
I was in despair.
When I thought, "Is this boring and uncertain future going on every day until I die?", It was nothing but despair.
At present, I was able to abandon that boring and anxious life and change my life as a freelancer, but there is an idea that I was able to take a small and big step of becoming a freelancer.
Life has to be managed, nothing can be done
Since I was suffering from depression, I was trapped in despair and was full of feelings that "I want to quit this life = I want to die", but the idea of "quitting a boring life = suicide" is biased. Isn't it? I was wondering.
The answer was yes.
It's a simple story. All you have to do is choose a different life.
The choice of life that allowed me to do my favorite work at any time was to be freelance for me.
Of course, there are negative excuses such as "Is it easy to become freelance, it bothers my family, and just because I become freelance does not mean that I will be able to earn money immediately", and I sometimes struggle. did.
But,
"It causes trouble to my family" → "It causes trouble to my family
even if I commit suicide " "I can't earn immediately" → "I can't earn money if I commit suicide"
"Life isn't that sweet" → "It's already hard for me"
I tried to disprove all the negative excuses that came to my mind.
As a result, there is no longer an image that is worse than "the current situation is so painful that I want to commit suicide".
At worst, it's just as painful as it is now.
Then, rather than spending a life that is known to be painful and desperate to maintain the status quo, isn't it worthwhile to steer a life that may turn around? What?
At that time, I had nothing but my family that I didn't want to let go of, so the only way I couldn't let go of my family was to not die.
So, I also tried to find "options other than suicide".
That's right, there are options other than suicide .
If you are in a situation where you are in a situation where you want to commit suicide, you can use some of your energy to commit suicide and escape from your current environment with all your might.
If there is something important, run away with all your might to protect it, and change your life with all your might.
To be honest, I think the burden is much lighter than the mental energy required for suicide, and in the worst case, there is an option to commit suicide. That may be a shame, but it's true that once you're prepared for death, you can do anything unexpected.
It was a bit of a mistake to say "life will be managed", and when I realized that "life must be managed", I was prepared to die and could change my life.
In other words, "If you manage your life, you will manage it . "
If you think it's the worst life right now, it can't be worse than that, so why not take action to try something out of your life?
It's up to you to do it or not.